What now?

I wanted to begin back to blogging here the first of this New Year.

Frankly I was too depressed and worried to have anything encouraging to offer.  It wasn’t just the sudden terror of the new administration…although that certainly was more than enough.  There was a lot of turmoil on the home front too.  Culminating in a court decision we never ‘saw’ coming and broke our hearts but not our spirits.  We go on.  We fight on.

Some things… these kids… this country… are too important to yield to sorrow and despair

So here we are.  February.  January and February are, traditionally, ‘winter’ here in the Lowcountry.  Not so much this year.  The camellias are in bloom.  The azaleas are beginning to open. The sun shines and it has been low to mid 70s almost every day. Can’t really complain about a ‘winter’ where you can happily play at the beach without needing sweats.

Writing continues.

THIS was my Christmas gift from my amazing kids.  A printed hardcopy of my manuscript!

christmas-joy-2016

I cried, LOL!

Edits on that one are almost completed and there are others in the works.  Always a story waiting to be told. And in these days… that is a bright star on a dark night indeed.

 

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Amazing Beginning…

Life has been a crazed roller coaster of late.

All right, maybe more than lately.  Maybe for the last five years!  Friday it has been 3 years since my husband passed away…quite suddenly… of cancer.  We’d beaten it twice.  We expected to do it again.  Then he was gone.  Still haven’t quite figured that one out, but I picked up the kids and we came home to the Lowcountry.

It has been crazy… in good and bad ways.  Of late…lots of bad. Crises upon crises,  each deeper and scarier than the one before.  Most my own fault.  I have a stubborn streak of intractable faith in people.  I was brought up to believe the Golden Rule.  To treat people…all people….the way I would want to be treated.  To give everyone the benefit of the doubt as equal children of the Lord.  Love your neighbor as yourself.

Sometimes people make fun of me for being naive. Sometimes people take advantage of my desire to believe in them. I’m not stupid, really.  I just believe, in the long run, good will overcome.  I can’t imagine how cold the world must be to allow oneself not to trust that beyond the ugliness the news seeks to bury us under there is a greatness in the human spirit.  It just needs nurtured.

I digress.  Since David passed away, I haven’t had his influence to keep my ‘world is my oyster’ nature under control.  Frankly, I’ve made a mess of more things than I care to admit.  And, frankly, it has become more than a little discouraging.  Then today…faced with having to begin the process of digging out from under the two latest messes…and each time I reach for the edge of the hole it crumbles away… it occurred to my daughter and I that the glimmer of hope we have been so desperately praying God would give us… is all around us right now.  In the midst of our being broken and trampled by life, God is preparing us for the blessings yet to come.

He is teaching us to be humble. Teaching us to wait on Him.  And above all, reminding us to be thankful and to be good stewards of what He entrusts us with.

Hard lessons for me.  I am so not equipped to handle financial things.  I just hate them. But I am learning.  And part of what I am learning is not to trust ME.  Because I will definitely. mess it up again, LOL.  A good thing to know.

So now we have a new and hopeful outlook on our current trials.  It doesn’t make it easier in the moment.  I will continue to have my little panics and moments of doubt that I can crawl out of whatever the next hole is…and then I will.  And we will carry on, and keep failing, keep falling, keep learning, keep surviving.  Keep giving and hoping and praying… and trying to learn what He is teaching about how to do what is right…the right way.

It is an amazing new beginning… a rebirth of hope.  Just like Spring.

Carry on.